That's right it is another Top 10 list. I wanted to have some fun with this one. We all have a little bit of at least one or two of these in us. Some of you will think one of two of these describes you to a T. I am not trying to say you are wrong or should change or are somehow bad, just trying to have a little fun this weekend. Please take it in the fun nature it is intended.
#10 The guy who tracks every bill or amendment which gets written and freaks out about it. Don't get me wrong being informed about what is going on is good but stressing like crazy about something which hasn't even been proposed, let alone gotten a single sponsor or even made it into comittee might be a little premature.
#9 The guy with a dozen fancy guns and 4 days worth of food in his house.
#8 The guy with a loaded pantry, and a huge garden but a sharpened stick to protect them self.
#7 The guy who is way too obsessed with his chosen widget. It could be a knife or a tool or a certain type of firearm or a harmonica. This guy really loves this widget and talks about it a lot. It makes McGuyvers reliance on and obsession with his Swiss Army Knife seem normal.
#6 The guy who cherry picks the entire daily English language news to find 4 articles that have elements of gloom and doom and says they clearly indicate that the world is ending. Don't get me wrong it is good to be informed but taking a 200 word article in the Mapequatana, MN Daily Record as an indicator of a world wide trend might be reading a bit too much into things.
#5 The guy who has a blog on which more than 75% of the posts are copy and pastes from some news source. He is also invariably sure these articles mean the world is ending (see above).
#4 The guy who says he wants freedom but he really means he wants a theocracy where everybody lives by the rules, values and regulations of his chosen religion.
#3 The guy who says he is for freedom but really just wants everyone elses freedoms limited and his protected, including a get out of jail free card for his own poor decisions.
#2 The guy who sees something written on another blog or a forum or a chat room (without any sort of citation or linkage to a source) and always takes it as the gospel truth. [I have considered starting a different blog under another name to just publish crazy made up paranoid delusional stuff and see if these folks take it as truth and link to it;] After all we know the Trilateral Commission is in the habit of CCing their evil plans to Jimmy Bob from WV who loves posting on paranoidhomemadefoodanddeerrifles.com. Without unnecessarily bashing Coast to Coast radio (they have a gem from time to time and at the end of the day it is just entertainment) it would be fair to lump these folks into the "I believe in everything" club, internet chapter.
#1 The guy who knows that FEMA could not get water to the Super Dome but is sure that they have a death camp set up in his neighborhood (he knows it is true because he read it in a forum(#2) and a detailed (national and local) plan to use elite storm troops to capture all the bloggers and other dangerous politically undesirable folks in the area. In fact the Fema storm troopers are following him right now in a black astro van with the genius disguise of "Teds Carpet Cleaning" on the side.
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8 comments:
HAHA! Number 5 fits me from time to time. Usually when I dont have much on my mind and get stuck with a good case of writers block.
I can see myself in number 10 a little bit too.
Great list!
I am number 1 now a days. LOL Ok, I do not know about death camps. I do not, however, trust the .gov.
Don’t forget about the guy who always sees “black helicopters” flying around, unmarked military vehicle convoys on the interstate and believes everything he reads on Prisonplanet and Infowars as gospel and the guy who thinks that sitting on a pile of gold will keep him alive.
The funniest and maybe the best post you've ever written.
SGT Jarhead, I certainly have some 9 and 7 in me. Glad you enjoyed it.
Wyn Boniface, A bit of distrust is a healthy thing.
Samuel Adams, The black helicopters are a good one that I forgot. The black astro van thing has an interesting story. I saw a video on somebodies facebook which they said was proof of evil military maneuvers in their area. It was a 5 second video of a couple random vans driving down the highway. I did mention the guy who believes everything he reads anywhere and takes it as gospel as #2.
tjbbpgoblll, Glad you liked it.
You've seen the van, too!?!
Sam Adams, that's silly. Everyone knows sitting on a pile of gold won't keep you alive. Sitting on a pile of gold with an AR-15 will keep you alive.
Damn...I just need to quit buying so much tin foil!
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