In a recent discussion I saw stay at home mom refered to by the acronym SAHM. I am unsure where this came from and until proven otherwise I will credit it to Patrice who writes the great blog Rural Revolution. Anyway moving forward. I have been thinking about the whole stay at home mom thing.
I find the excuses for why people say they can't have mom (or I suppose dad) at home to be just that, excuses. The fundamental issue is that to be able to have mom at home you need to be able to live on what dad makes. Simply take the amount he brings in, subtract some for savings and a cushion then the rest is what you've got to live on. Simple but not easy.
All the excuses boil down to we would rather have stuff than mom at home. Living on less may well mean a smaller, simpler residence like most things in life, it is attainable if you want it bad enough. I can however see that not every woman wants to be a SAHM. They may have goals outside of the home, want the social interaction that comes with working outside of the home. I guess my point is that having momma at home is possible if you are willing to make the sacrifices.
For some reason I am still not clear on I watched a couple hours of 16 and Pregnant today. My first thought was "life is hard; its harder if you're stupid". John Wayne said that. The whole getting pregnant really young thing is stupid.
Seriously the impact of lifestyle choices like having a kid cannot be overstated. These kids are going to have a seriously rough go of it based upon the stupid choice they made.
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Or husband could die suddenly when baby is seven months old and nothing is simple again.
From a SAHM who did the "live on less" thing so it would be possible...I can honestly say I have never regretted it. What price can really be put on those golden years? Really?
Tpals, I think we talked about this once. That sort of possibility is why I think people should be well insured and that women have the capacity to earn a liveable wage.
Yep, read on Your Crazy Uncle blogsite about a week ago about a young woman who was having her sixth (!) abortion. My gosh, if there such a thing as a case for mandatory sterilization, she would be a possible canidate.
Having children even what planned is not a picnic by any means. My wife who earned a doctorate typing the dissertation into the wee hours of the morning clearly sez raising our children is more difficult. Its worth it, but patience is a virtue - cultivate it if you contemplate adding a few rug rats in your life.
There's a whole host of acronyms for such things. I see them a lot on online bulletin boards.
SAHM - Stay at home mom
SAHD - dad
WAHM - Work at home mom
WAHD - dad
:-)
Hubby and I are still hanging in the one-income bracket.
We were surprised this year to receive a LOT of charity from our new community. Most of it from local christians. I wasn't sure how to take it at first. 1) we're not christian and don't go to any local churches, how did they find us? 2) I don't consider us needy or poor. We all eat 3 squares every day, we all had Yule presents, we all have warm clothing.
I took the time to talk to my mother about my feelings. She explained to me that some of the charity is due to our status as "that nice young family that just moved in." As someone who's moved close to 24 times in my life, it's funny to live in a small rural town that see's such activity as life-altering. She also mentioned that for 2011, we live a pretty simple life. While things like no tv, one small car, veggie gardens and general austerity are normal for me and mine, others see it as "poor" and feel they should "help."
Turns out my landlady got us on her church's charity list and I think a coworker got us on the second church list. :-P
It's been a good reminder to me of how different we have to live to make it work and how that can look to neighbors. And a reminder about how different small town living can be.
As my SAHM wife told be almost 16 years ago when our twins were born, "I not having these children so that someone else can raise them." Best decision that we ever made was for her to stay home. She gave up her career as a Marketing Manager with an MBA, but it was the right thing to do for us and out boys.
We have a SAHM in our house. Homeschooling and everything. It's a choice and one that can be hard in our society, but for those who make it, it's the best thing they do. Our situation is a little different as house sharing means that we have a SAHM for the 2 kids and still have 2 full-time incomes. It's a wonderful thing!
No regrets here either. If we can do it (here in New York state), it can be done anywhere by anyone.
A very good post on the subject, for many Americans it’s a simple matter of choice. Choosing between your children and lifestyle/possessions. I believe a large majority of families in the U.S. could have a stay at home parent if they were willing to make that hard choice…
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