"So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key"
-The Eagles "Already Gone"
I heard this song for the first time in awhile and the lyrics stuck with me. I wish (in addition to my other personal crusades of financial and physical fitness) that I could figure out a way to reach people. They just don't see that the stuff which is driving them crazy is under their control, should they chose to do something about it.
I had the advantage of coming to a few key realizations on debt, finances, and life before doing things which would limit my choices. It is a lot more difficult to make your life simple if you come to some of these realizations a decade and a bunch of choices (maybe a house you can barely afford, a bunch of debt, a spouse who likes a certain lifestyle or whatever) and I do see that. However at the end of the day it is about choices.
We can choose to live the life we want or not. This may require hard choices which change our standards of living and maybe even the relationships we are in. The alternative is to sit around and be unhappy quietly or to whine about it.
Remember, you hold the key.
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2 comments:
Well, I have to say that I agree with you 100%. But over the years I have come to realize that some people LOVE to play the victim role. Even if you present them with help or the keys to unlock their situation they won't take it because that means it would solve their problems and they would no longer be able to do the whole "woe as me" thing. Professional victims are impossible to deal with.
Sam, not in the trailer park
It takes mental fortitude, willpower, and a desire for change to make things different. Acting, not reacting. Human are proactive. They can make intuitive leaps. They are running low on groceries, they know they need to get more food. Monkeys react. They run low on food, they eat until it is gone. When they are hungry again, they seek more food.
Are we apes or are we men?
I completely dislike whiners, when all they do is whine and complain.
Those who did not make the intuitive leap, the realization, that some decisions would be bad, can still change them. I tell them just that.
Too much debt? Stop buying junk and pay it off.
Finances too tight? Live within your means, not above them.
Cannot afford the house payment on the house you "own"?
Rent it out or sell it. Rent an apartment or house you can afford.
Spouse has a lifestyle that is extravagant or expensive? Have a sit down heart to heart talk. Show the numbers, make a budget, meet in the middle or make a radical change. Your marriage is a team effort. The person you married has qualities that attracted you to them to begin with. Seek those out and cultivate a stronger relationship.
I know what I have written seems overly simplified. It is. I cannot know every circumstance, every nuance of a person's situation. What I can do is offer simple, straightforward advice.
There are solutions. The key is knowing what the problems are, and tackling them one at a time. Try to take on too many at once and you will become overwhelmed, and make no real progress.
In the end, the solution is in your hands, or not.
Great post!
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