Why Women Still Can't Have It All?

I heard about this article from the Atlantic on tv and wanted to read it. I certainly don't agree with the political leanings of this woman or a lot of her ideas. I do however think it is a topic worth discussing.

I have touched on this before but the thing is that you have to make choices about how to spend your time and energy. Women expect, and are expected, to do more with their kids than men. Our culture tends to expect or at least accept that men will give some in this area to provide for the family. While our pressures are different the larger issue is still present for men. If I spend 2 more hours at work a day and a third (above what I do now) exercising I would do better at my job which would in time be a factor in my career. The thing is that means I would be around Wifey and kiddo for 2-3 hours less a day which is not acceptable to me. That is a choice I have knowingly made.

Beyond the work vs family debate the issue can be seen all over. Factor out some time to sleep, eat, do hygiene, etc and you are probably looking at about 16 available hours. Figure that half or a bit more goes to whatever you do to make money 5-6 days a week and you probably have 6-7 hours left.
A woman or man who chooses to spend another hour at work is by default not choosing to spend that hour in any number of other ways. That means they are a bit less of a spouse, parent or friend or aren't as good at their hobby or well read or well rested. One only has enough time, energy and money to do so much. You don't see tournament Jui Jitsu fighters who also are competitive marathon runners and 3 gun shooters that play a wicked game of bridge and are in bowling, softball and pool leagues. These folks who already don't exist certainly are not high powered professionals or business owners who have great active relationships with their spouses and children.

What is right or wrong for an individual, their family and their life is a complicated matter without clear cut answers. That being said I would say family will be there in 40 years when you are old and grey while a job, sport or a hobby will not. Also as cliche as it is you can't take money or stuff with you when you go.

Still Sick

The title pretty much sums it up. Making it through work and doing family stuff in the evening is taking about all I have got. By the end of the day I am completely physically and mentally drained. On the bright side I sought medical care today and I do not have pnemonia or wooping cough or the plague. Expect short posts, quotes and videos for a few days. Please bear with me until I don't feel like the walking dead.

Quote of the Day

"The difference between the TEA Partiers and OWS isn't the politics, it's about 30 years of work history."
-American Mercenary 

Why Does The Army Want Me To Be Weak?

Read an interesting article here.

Quote of the Day

"Someone texted me "Any chance I can get my paycheck today?" I could have told them wrong number, but went with "no ur fired" instead."
-My Brother in Law

Read and Follow

http://www.warriortalknews.com/2011/08/grazing.html
This was too good not to post/ link to. Read it and take it to heart, especially the parts about fitness and working hard to take care of your family instead of whining. Carrying a combat handgun and a reload is of course not a bad idea either.

To My Friends

I have a few friends who for various reasons are in a bad way as of late. Problems with work and money as well as the undefinable "life" are the culprit's. I have a few thoughts which may help them.

On work: It amazes me that some folks seem to spend so little time choosing how to earn a living. Something that takes so much of ones time and shapes so many other things merit's significant deliberate thought. There are a lot of theories on how you should choose to make a living. Some folks say "do what you love and then things will be great" or something like that. Others say you should figure out how much money you want to make and then find something tolerable that will get you there. My idea falls somewhere in the middle. For most of us things we really enjoy doing fail to readily translate into a viable living. I love traveling, blogging, shooting guns, preparedness and scotch. Through a lot of work and a good measure of luck I manage to make a few bucks from blogging. However that will not come anywhere close to providing my family with a viable living. I really do like my job but at the end of the day it is still a job. There is a reason it is called work not "happy fun time". If I stopped being compensated for my work I could sit on the couch or something but more realistically I would go do something else. The reality is that everybody who is not independently wealthy and does not desire to live in some state of squallor needs to have a continual income. Find a job you reasonably enjoy or that makes you enough money to be happy with other things and you are doing better than lots of folks.

On life: First of all despite what we may have seen from a rose colored glasses version of 1946-1990ish America life is in fact hard. If it is any consolation life now is still very easy by historical standards. It has become abundantly clear to me (especially since I am in Afghanistan) that life without some sort of purpose greater than one's self is very important. It could be religion, family, community or whatever. The point is that unless something is driving you it is very easy to be overcome and worn down by life's difficulties. Having something to keep you going when things get bad is just so important.

On money: I think it is important to differentiate between short term and systemic money problems. You get cut back to part time for a bit and the transmission on the family car goes out and that makes for a rough month or two. Become disabled and unable to continue in your previous line of work and that is likely permenant or at least long term. If you are short of money every month that is a long term thing. This is particularly relevant for folks at the breaking point of what we call the middle class. The cultural pressures to be part of this group, or at least have some of it's trappings (owning a home, certain types of vehicles, etc all) is very high. Unfortunately this motivates a high percentage of individuals in this income range to reach just up to (which is never a good thing) or beyond their means. Folks in this range spending a very high (often 40%+) of their income on housing is common. This causes so many problems for these folks. All I can say is that to get out of this trap one needs to either figure out how to live on less and make the choice to do so or figure out how to boost their income. I am aware that cultural pressure here is high and the solution is easy to say but hard to do.

For people of all income ranges who, without a sudden life changing event, perpetually live right up to or beyond their means there are definite psychological factors involved. Suze Orman says that when your finances get out of whack it means you are unhappy with some part of your life and that is probably true.

As for solutions: So much of this stuff muddles together. When you are happy with your relationships and life then living within your means is typically easier.

Career Thoughts

Wifey and I talked recently about our future. We are both, on the whole pretty happy with my job. It looks like I am going to keep doing this for the long haul. I enjoy my job, if not every position I end up in (the good thing about the Army is that you change jobs every year or so and inside every couple years or so there is a total turnover of personnel. So if you don't like a position or person sooner or later things will change) and am pretty happy with things. I certainly don't make a ton of money but plenty to meet all of our needs and a reasonable amount of our desires. What does this mean for our plans? Well it means we will keep movig around to various places. This has significant implications for disaster and contingency planning as well as our ability to accumulate and store gear, food and supplies. Also it really limits the sort of place we will choose to live. Going to the time and expense of developing (small farm type stuff) a piece of land and acquiring all sorts of tools and animals to move to move in a short period of time does not make good sense on any level. A few acres with a garden and some chickens is about the most I can see until we are going to be relatively stationary. This really limits our food production capabilities. 

The good part is that relatively speaking my job is pretty secure. Conventional thought says our Army is going to be getting smaller but I am not so sure. Looking at the trend of our progressive increase in involvement in Africa and the last years events in the Middle East (as well as their likely continuation) I don't see our forces shrinking drastically. To me the hollow Army model of the late 70's and early-mid 80's might be more relevant. Our funding for equipment and training could well decrease with a corresponding change in overall readiness. Suffice to say I am not worried about job security. Pretty much any way you look at it by not being stationary in the inland PNW we are going to be less capable of preparing for some scenarios.

There are however some good parts. At work I do and learn things that are pretty useful. I also have added motivation to stay in shape. My kit is pretty much squared away all the time because I use it for work. I am regularly able to use and evaluate for personal use different gear and products. Also I make a reasonabl decent living which is pretty secure. While most of the countries I travel to happen to suck it is still pretty interesting to go to new places and do new things.

The way forward for our preparedness is heavily shaped by my job. We need transportable, modular capabilities a lot more than someone who is static. Being able to readily reproduce supplies or other objects that are not readily transportable is essential. This runs the gammet of situations/ options and includes making donations of heavy and or bulky household supplies during a PCS (a hundred bucks worth of toilet paper will fill up a large SUV). Being able to keep capabilities and have a minimal regular loss of goods/ equipment is essential. I don't need one nice set of garden planters. I need to be able to reproduce some sort of garden planter every few years without breaking the bank.

I am still not sure what the answers all are but thinking through the potential problems can't hurt.

Book Review: The Bear Went Over The Mountain by Lester W Grau

This book
is based around a series of interviews conducted by the Soviet Staff
College after the war was over. Once the Cold War ended and we got to
sharing our country gained access to this stuff. Basically this book is
a series of vignettes based upon interviews with Russian Officers (by
their rank structure and where the interviews took place it was to my
memory only O's). These are categorized into chapters by category:
raids, ambushes, defense, etc. Onto the usual format.

The Good: These interviews were probably not originally meant for
distribution outside their organization so they are brutally honest.
Also they are primarily written by Company level officers on the ground.
Leaders talking about what they did. I found some vignettes particularly
interesting. Here is a big hint.

The themes of not conducting reconnaissance and failure to control the
high ground being harshly punished were repeated to the point of boring
monotony. Repetitive use of the same routes and overly relaxed security
not surprisingly tend to cause problems. Soviets tended to telegraph
their movements and operations losing all surprise. As a tactical leader
I got a lot from this book.

The Bad: The maps were poorly written and badly copied. Almost to the
point where they were not useful. Some vignettes were quite repetitive
and boring. In general the book is very dry and redundant. Also I really
don't care the MAJ Shmetlap Ruskie was awarded the order of the Silver
Commie or whatever.

The Ugly: This is just an extension of the bad. I read it cover to cover
but would probably have been better off if I skipped the lame vignettes
as typically I knew halfway through that they were uninteresting and
unenlightening.

Final Assessment: If you are interested in the Soviet War in
Afghanistan, Afghanistan, Guerilla Operations, COIN/ Stability/ Counter
Guerilla operations I suggest reading this book. If you are a leader who
may get involved in these sort of operations I strongly suggest you read
this book. It is available here and there on hard copy though the price
is kinda cheap. You can get it a lot cheaper online which I would
personally suggest. You will likely enjoy reading it but don't need to
drop $30 for an out of print book.

Personally I borrowed a co workers. I also saw another blog (can't
remember who) that had a link to download the PDF from the Tribal
Analysis Center. I could not find this book there but did find The Other
Side of the Mountain on PDF. Interesting note, PDF's work on Kindles
with the only issue being you can't zoom the text. The rest is however
another post all together.

Quote of the Day

"it ain't about how hard you hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much can you take and keep moving forward."


-Rocky Balboa

Interestingly this was my quote of the day in late July. I stumbled onto it today while looking for something else. Made me think a lot about a lot of things that are going on and coming up.

Product Review: Vickers Padded Sling

Today I am going to be talking about the Vickers Padded Sling I recently ordered. Today I had the opportunity to put it on a rifle and use it for awhile. Also the day started real early and ended real late so a kinda short post is in order.

The Good: I was initially impressed about how heavy, thick and stuff the webbing on this sling was. It makes my Tactical Tailor slings seem thin and flimsy. Today I put it on and found that it was quick and easy. I got this sling because it is padded and that helps (or at least spreads out the weight) when carrying a weapon for hours. Also I thought the quick adjustment idea was pretty cool. The sling has both more permenant (well not permenant but you would have to take off the rifle, sit down and mess with them) adjustments on both sides of the padded part as well as the quick adjust. I theoretically liked the quick adjust idea, especially going from wearing body armor to not wearing it and changing into heavy winter clothes, etc. My observation is that with a fairly fixed sling I was regularly wishing it was a couple inches longer or shorter, for whatever of the above reasons.

I put the sling on today and used it for awhile. I was quite impressed with it. Also the great forethought of the adjustments helped immensely. Most padded slings have the pad way too far toward the center to be useful when carrying in the low ready. I took a minute and choked up the back adjustment and let a bit out of the front one and it rested right across my shoulder, neck and upper back where it is needed.

The tab adjustment for the quick adjust is something I was really skeptical about. I was very pleasantly suprised. You just grab the tab and pull it the way you want it to go and the sling stays there till you pull the tab again. Can't say why it works but it does. I set it up so that my normal sling length is right in the middle of the quick adjust. This gives me some play in both directions.

I really enjoy this sling.

The Bad: They are expensive. Costing a nickel under $60 before shipping this isn't a sling that most people would buy lightly. To be honest the only reason I got one is because I have tried all sorts of ghetto rigged two point slings and just haven't been really happy with them. Also I carry a rifle a lot so getting a tough, well thought out quality piece of kit is worth it for me. [Sort of like how it is worth it for a professional carpenter to spend quite a few bucks on a hammer or a tool belt where it isn't for an average guy. Someone who frames 25 homes a year has very different needs in terms of comfort, ergonomics and ruggedness than a guy whose big effort is helping on a deck or an addition each summer.]

I definitely don't plan to order a bunch of these. They are cost prohibitive to say the least. I got one for work because if spending a few bucks makes my life easier and more comfortable I will do it. At some point I will order one for my go rifle too.

No Ugly.

Quote of the Day, an Interesting Post and a Good Blog

“Poverty is more than a lack of income. It is also the consequence of specific behaviors and decisions. The 2001 Census data clearly show that dropping out of high school, staying single, having children without a spouse, working only part time or not working at all substantially increase the chances of long-term poverty. Certain behaviors are a recipe for success. Among those who finish high school, get married, have children only within a marriage and go to work, the odds of long-term poverty are virtually nil.”

-Blake Bailey

[I do think it is worth noting that this statement has so many very specific qualifiers that it would be difficult to really examine the statistics. However I certainly do agree that “Poverty is more than a lack of income. It is also the consequence of specific behaviors and decisions."]

This quote was part of a very interesting post over at Rural Revolution. Even if you are ambivalent about the whole Christianity thing the overall advice is still really sound. Don't let someones religious stance get in the way of really good info. A lot of people who know great stuff come from Christian backgrounds. The Mormon church really has their stuff together in a lot of ways, especially food storage and organization.

Someone's Got a Case of the Mondays

As a blogger every now and then I have the idea for my next post fully formed and the thing practically written in my head when I see a post elsewhere that says exactly what I was going to say better than I could. This morning was sort of one of those days. SHTF Blog's post Prepper Burnout- Identify and combat it really struck a cord with me. 

I've been feeling sort of burned out recently. Since I got back last Friday it has been evident enough that people I talk to are noticing it during conversation. I got to really thinking about why this was last night. I laid there for about 3 hours just thinking.

A bit of it is just life. Work has recently (last 2-3 months or so) been busy, not particularly rewarding and more stressful than in the past. That is definitely a factor. I am pretty ready to take a break for the holidays.

I got to thinking that a lot of it however is what SHTF Blog keenly identified as Prepper Burnout. Right now our big push is to become debt free by paying off my school loan. We are putting an almost rediculous percentage of our income toward that goal. Things are working but it isn't fun. While we have decent reserves our general operating budget is tight. This is creating a lot of stress in our finances that would not otherwise exist. The payoff date is pretty darn close so it isn't really worth tweeking things. However if we had it to do over again a slightly less aggressive (about 10-15% less a month) repayment plan would have given us most of the benefit with a lot less stress.

Also not being colocated with a lot of my preps stresses me. Not so much in a worring about if things happen and I am not there sort of way as I am comfortable with our situation here. More that I got a lot of joy in seeing my stocks and watching stuff accumulate. It makes the work and effort I put into stuff worthwhile and also has a real calming effect on me. The work is still there but the calming effects are not.

It probably doesn't help that we are currently living through a preparedness scenario. Just because it isn't a fun, quick or sexy scenario doesn't make it any less real. Employment is bad, the economy is at best uncertain, crime is up, there is inflation in normal purchases and all kinds of other bad stuff. That you can't carry a rifle everywhere and there is still electricity doesn't mean real stuff isn't going down.

Anyway enough with the pitty party. The real question is what am I going to do about it. Today I started making a couple conscious efforts and made a bit of progress. The day sucked especially bad and my mood is, at least relatively speaking pretty good. The first thing I decided was to do at least a couple things in a day just because I enjoy them. Today I had a doughnut for breakfast on a work day. Also I had a little time with no TV/ computer or other noise just hanging out with Walker. That was nice and took my mind off things.

Really wanted to get back into the gym today but it just didn't work with my schedule. Tomorrow I think it will. Lifting once in a blue moon or a couple times in a row randomly won't do much for my body but I enjoy it and it gets those good endorphins going. Lastly I am just trying to enjoy the little things and force myself to be happier. Remember, fake it until you make it. Going home, seeing friends and family, shooting my own guns, repacking all my new awesome stuff and just plain taking a break will hopefully help a lot.

See you all tomorrow

Happy Thanksgiving

As is appropriate I have spent some time today thinking about what I am thankful for. I have a lot to be thankful about for sure. I am very thankful that Walker is well and we are all able to spend this holiday together as a happy little family. While it has medically been a crazy couple months for us we all appear to be in good health. I am thankful that we aren't struggling to keep a roof over our heads and food in our stomachs. I am thankful that between preps and saving we can feel pretty secure about our overall situation. I am thankful that my sister is here and we are going to do some traveling this weekend.

It occurs to me that most of the things I am thankful for are directly or indirectly the result of my own choices. I/ we could make choices that created animousity and unhappiness in our home. We could choose to be idle or underemployed and struggle for basics like shelter and food. We could spend beyond our means and have constant worries about money. Of course luck is a factor. Right now lots of decent hard working folks are either unemployed or seriously underemployed and really struggling. If they live well within their means and have some savings they are better off but in a long enough under/ unemployment most everybody will start to have serious problems. Folks can make the right choices and have continual health issues.

It has been a pretty good Thanksgiving so far. Went to bed pretty early yesterday and slept till almost 10. Had a pretty relaxing morning just chilling out then Little Sis, Walker and I went to do some local sight seeing. It is pretty good holiday weather. Right around freezing with a bit of snow on the ground. Just enough to cover rooftops, trees and lawns giving the nice scenic winter look but not enough to muck up the roads and make it hard to get around. The food is cooking and we are all sitting around and talking. Shortly it will be coctail and appetizer time which is always fun.

We are having a sort of 'Orphans Thanksgiving' as always. Wifey cooks a bunch of food and we invite everybody who can use a place to go and feed whoever comes. Relatives, neighbors, co workers or whatever. It makes for interesting groups of people but is good times.

Well I am going to go and enjoy a lot of food, some great scotch and family.

Happy Thanksgiving

The Debt That Binds

I work with a guy who doesn't like his job much. He would like to do something else with his life but he can't. The reason he can't is that he is in debt which combined with a relatively high lifestyle means they couldn't afford the drop in income. His debt is binding them to a job he doesn't want to do any more.

The thing is that debt is a promise against your future earnings. You are literally promising to pay someone money you have not earned yet. Of course there is the matter of interest. That there is a whole industry based around people borrowing money should indicate to you that it isn't a sound fiscal move. However we can almost think of that secondly.

Also as Mayberry noted there is a certain amount of gamble present in that you are betting you will still be in a situation where you can make X payment in a couple months/ years/ decades. Every unique situation is different so for some folks that gamble is almost a sure thing as your income is quite secure. However for others it is a real craps shoot.



An implied part of promising money you have not earned yet is that you will make choices that will continue to make that money available. This limits your options. You might want to quit doing what you do now and would face at least a short term income disruption. Maybe you want to get out of the rat race and into a slower paced job or a different area. Maybe you want to live in a van down by the river or join a cult. By taking on debt you drastically limit your future options. From a certain perspective a nice car (of course on a 90 month loan), in a nice house full of nice stuff is a fancy cage.

I am not saying that you should take a vow of poverty or simplicity or anything. I am a pretty hard core capitalist and truly believe that greed is good. I want you to have nice stuff and a wonderful life. It is just that I want you to know what the non economic cost of debt (doubly so to a high % of what you earn) will be so you can make an informed choice. You might offset doing it a bit slower and less fancy by being rewarded with a heck of a lot more freedom.

I Get By With a Little Help From My Neighbors

Having people around who can help you out is pretty darn important. One of the less than ideal parts of my job is that we move all over the place far from traditional networks of friends and family. We can't depend on Mom and Pop or our high school buddies. Also unlike someone who moves across the country and stays in one place it is difficult to build up a long lasting network (though the Army is a surprisingly small world and people do keep popping up) in a new place.

However one of the things that helps to counterbalance this is that everybody else is in the same spot. Sort of like the first day at a new summer camp or college it is a lot easier to make friends when everybody is on the same friendless boat. Also it helps that we are part of one of the few organizations where your word and honor matter; that enables people to safely give a certain level of trust rather quickly because if there is a problem it can be quickly resolved.

For relatively stay to ourselves folks like us getting to know people is kind of an effort. Taking a minute to say hi and have that forced semi awkward conversation helps. More than anything else being helpful is the way to go. Give somebody a ride to get groceries or loan them some small stuff if they need it.

For example we recently got some new neighbors. Wifey has a car and ran the gal and her kids around to get groceries and all that stuff. Awhile later we got a big entertainment center thing. Too big for me to move and pregnant Wifey can't help. Before we could go ask if neighbor guy could help he and gal were down there. He helped me with the big piece and she grabbed a couple shelves. Also the neighbor guy is a medic which has obvious benefits.

Maybe you trust the neighbors to be part of your super secret elite militia and maybe not. Either way it is pretty nice to have somebody who could pick up the mail or check on Fido when you are away. Relationships are important because you can't do it on your own.

Working Our Way Through Some Food Storage

One of the interesting things about my job is that sometimes your situation changes or you need to move and food storage is either eaten, donated or tossed. We are approaching one of those times. So we have gotten to eating. I have a few observations.

1. Buying just dairy, meat and fresh vegitables instead of everything you eat makes for a small grocery bill.
2. You can do a lot with basic staples like rice, flour, sugar and a modest stash of condiments and such. With some cooking skills there are all sorts of possible combinations and dishes.
3. Thinking to eating just our stored stuff the ratio of starches to staple type meat, vegetables and condiments is too high. We need to store more shelf stable meats and canned/ dehydrated vegetables.
4.  It is good to keep plenty of food in the house.

ACOG Product Review

The Trijicon ACOG is a a pretty darn nice optic. Onto the usual format.

The Good: These things are rugged and reliable. They have a day/ night illuminated reticule that doesn't require batteries. They are really easy to mount on a flat top rail. If you remember where you mounted them they hold a zero well enough for functional use. Between the generous eye relief, wide field of view and Bindon Aiming Concept they are easy to shoot well from very close to a few hundred meters. Their bullet drop compensator is very quick and useful after a little bit (like a single trip to the range) of practice. With a properly zeroed ACOG most people shoot better than before. I know I do.

It is my opinion that the ACOG is the best all around combat optic I have used or seen to date.  I could go on and on but it is easier to say they are really good scopes.

The Bad: They are expensive. These are a lot nicer than Chevy grade optics costing less than half as much, as they should be. An ACOG can easily costs as much, if not more than many AR style rifles you could mount it on. Depending on the exact model you want they start a bit above a grand and go up from there.

The Ugly: The only real ugly is just a continuation of the bad. They're just too expensive for many to willing to pay for or able to afford. I can certainly understand that perspective and don't think you should go out on a financial limb to get one. Also I get just being a cheapskate. The high price point and the resulting sticker shock of the ACOG is such that they  aren't even considered as an option by lots of folks.

Bottom Line: If you can deal with the sticker shock and hit to your wallet I strongly suggest the ACOG. You will really like it.

The Sanctity of Work

I grew up believing in the sanctity of work. I don't believe anybody who works should be looked down on for what they do. Some folks are smart and others are strong. Some folks are neither of those things. Some folks work real hard and get a marketable skill and others have jobs basically anybody can do. Some folks work really hard and others work hard enough to not get fired. I think all of that is just fine. Provided they do not bitch about their circumstances excessively (we all do it a bit) they are good in my book.

A person who earns their keep and figures out how to make it in the world on their own two feet is worth giving at least a bit of respect. A guy flipping burgers at McDonald's could be sitting on his butt collecting welfare or robbing people at gunpoint. Makes "do you want fries with that" seem a whole lot more upstanding, doesn't it?

It's Not Going To Get Easier

It is a bit past time for bed I was just thinking about some work stuff. Had a quick revelation and since I am stashing lots of posts to fill field time I am writing it down tonight instead of maybe tomorrow.

Sometimes you just have to force yourself to take the time, energy, and if applicable money, to do it right. It is too easy to cut corners or cheat yourself; thinking that somehow next month or year or a couple years it will be somehow easier to make the hard choices. Easier to do what you know is the right thing.

 For example lets talk guns real quick because they are easy to relate to. You probably don't need to wait and save until you can afford a $2,500 top end super customized 1911 but certainly shouldn't get a pot metal pimp gun either. I know that a $125 badly nickel plated .25acp or .380 could be tempting for somebody on a tight budget but is that really what you want your life to rely on? I don't think so.

Beyond money time and energy are just as applicable. Next year you will learn a skill or start exercising regularly and get your weight back to a healthy level. Right now it is just so hard to find a weekend to spend helping your buddy the carpenter build a shed or 30 minutes thrice a week to exercise. Somehow it will be easier later. It isn't going to be easier later. You would always rather sit your butt on the couch or hang out then do some grunt work and learn a lot. It is more fun to sit in a chair typing on your favorite forum about self defense and guns then to take the same time and get yourself into shape. Somehow you don't have the room for food storage right now but in a couple years it will be easier. Maybe by then you will have a bigger home you can't afford.

Before putting stuff off for vaguely in the future you need to think real hard about if it is just an excuse. Almost always the answer is yes and you should just do it right now as it won't get any easier. As my little sister in law says "do the right thing".